bamfsecretary | Entries tagged with goddamnit

//TEXT, no filter

Natu and Skarmory eggs for sale. Four of Natu, four of Skarmory. Natu egg moves include Return and Steel Wing, Skarmory egg moves include Return and Fly. Both will take roughly nine days to hatch. Price on advance.

{Because it had to happen sooner or later. There isn't a Pokedaycare post up yet, that will go up in a while. Sherlock Holmes is also advised not to bother asking.}

//VIDEO, no filter, accidental

{Ah, what a lovely day it is just south of Violet! The breeze is blowing, the grass is rustling... And a herd of very ANGRY Mareep are staring down one very scared Natu. It is actually possible to hear the electricity crackling off them. Also visible in shot is Nanao, who seems to have just realised that three-quarters of her current team is weak to Electric-types.}

{That and she is going to have to make a heroic sacrifice if she doesn't want her tiny tennisball bird to become crispy fried. Guess which choice she makes.}

{There's a crackle of thunder and lightning, the bird goes flying in one direction (knocked out, but only partially crispy), and Nanao gets to experience what it's like when you're hit by ten Thunder Waves at once.}

{...someone might want to go help her.}

//AUDIO, six hours later, filtered to the Shinigami, Envy, Miguel, Tulio, Souji, Crow, Heather.

{She sounds hoarse and horrible. But at least she's speaking! ...or mumbling. Hooray for paralysis?} I think I'm going to leave Violet fairly soon. Got the badge and everything. Big city lights callin' my name an' everythin'.

...don' ever get paralysed. Sucks.

{OOC: The badge was mod approved!}

//action a - streets of Goldenrod
{If you're out and about in the lovely sunshine-filled streets of Goldenrod today (and why wouldn't you be?), you'll probably hear before you see an argument between one wheelchair-bound Ise Nanao, and her Alakazam.}
No, Kiyone, the fabric shop is that way, and the paper shop is that way.
Ala! Kazam ka alakazam!
I think I trust Kanji-san's directions - he's been there before, and you haven't!
Al. A. Ka. Zam.
No, you're wrong! H-hey, put me down! I'll have Shuuhei bite your ankles again!
{Kiyone's apparently given up on using words to win this fight, and has simply started levitating her and her wheelchair, and is marching off in a random direction just to spite her. You can a) laugh, b) stare, c) jam it in (why would you though) or d) try to help.}

//action b - Goldenrod Pokemon Centre
{Doop doop, doing the check-up thing, and checking the PC and- Wait. What was that.}
No. No way. I don't-

No.

//video, action for housemates.
{When the feed clicks on, Nanao, while still seated in her wheelchair, looks a lot less happy than she should be. A rather confused Mareep is curled at her feet.}

It seems that Edward Elric and Hawkeye have gone home, since I have recieved their Pokemon. {She breathes out slowly.} However, this leaves me with a real problem. I have a few too many Pokemon, and after talking it over with them, I am prepared to give away some of them.

Hitsugaya-san, I have already sent you your Golduck, but if anyone else would like to discuss with me the Pokemon you would like, please reply to this video. {She nods, and the video cuts out.}

{OOC: Right! The Pokemon that are up for offer are: a level 49 Venusaur, a level 15 Lapras, and a level 17 Ralts (that wants to evolve into a Gardevoir, not a Gallade.). Casanova the Ditto will be handed over to Souji's Breeding Extravaganza if no one wants it. Also, the call for housemates is still open! Nanao's house is a charming bungalow with clear views out to the sea on the southern outskirts of Goldenrod. Rent is P200 a month, and they're pretty much allowed to stay for as long as they want provided they help with the household things every now and again.}

Current Location: Goldenrod

//video

{To anyone who's paying attention, it will immediately apparent that something is very much not right with this feed. For one, the 'Gear is at a weird angle, and it seems to be resting in a tuft of grass.}

Shinrai? Where are you - I can't see - Shinrai! {Two, Nanao is in the centre of a clearing, surrounded on all sides by forest. Her eyes are still blindfolded, and she's turning about, hands clenched white-knuckle tight around her staff.}

Shinrai!! {Three, her Riolu is nowhere near her - in fact, he seems to be somewhere to the right, out of sight of the camera - and by the noises he's making, something is very much not well. And then he falls silent suddenly, almost as if something had scared him silent. Slowly, Nanao rotates around, until she's facing in roughly his direction - the camera's direction. It's far too silent - and then there's a faint rustle, and a quiet thud, and she snaps her head over to the left of the screen.}

{Something's there with them. Three guesses as to whether or not it's friendly, and the first two don't count.}

{And then Nanao does the worst thing possible, and opens her mouth.}

. . . who's there?

{There's a hiss, low and predatory, and Shinrai starts shrieking in fear, in a tone that obviously triggers some flood of adrenaline within her because she takes two steps forward, but, unfortunately, so does the thing off to the left side of the camera, and it stalks towards the literally helpless Riolu, heavy footsteps thudding over the speakers of the 'Gear}

SHINRAI!! {He's screaming now, and large green feet tipped with wicked looking spikes tread right in front of the camera. They pause, and they shift weight, one moving past the camera, as if whatever the creature is was raising an arm up high - before it comes thudding down, and the terrified screams of the baby Riolu cut off with a horrid, fleshy wet thump.}

N-no.... {The foot pivots again, and whatever just... attacked Shinrai is now facing Nanao. Her face is white, and her jaws slack in shock - to her ears, it must sound like someone - or something - has just murdered her Riolu.} No.

{And you know what they say. Don't get mad, get even. Her face twists into a snarl - and she snarls, bestial.}

You son OF A WHORE! {Adrenaline and rage-filled, she moves into a fighting stance, shifting her grip on her staff.}

Fight me. {And the creature hisses satisfactorily, and moves forward, exposing more and more of a dull green carapace, segmented armour, and twin wicked scythes with every step. There seems to be something dark and wet on one of the scythes - and as the Scyther moves out of the shadows and into the summer sun, a fat droplet of dark red blood rolls down the edge and plops wetly onto the grass.}

{In a blur of motion, it moves, streaking in, blood-wet scythe raised high, expecting to end this with a single stroke. What it doesn't expect is for her to raise the staff, blocking the diagonal cut, or then to parry it - breaking open it's defense, and then to deal it a blow to the thorax, sending it stumbling back.}

{It sways, stunned, for a few moments, and Nanao brings the staff up back into a guard stance. This bug is about to learn the hard way as to why you just do not fuck with a Shinigami's family.}

{The Scyther shakes it's head, and screams in rage, a rasping sound like a burnt Meowth being dragged over broken glass and rusty nails, and then the dance is on. It is quicker than her, and taller and heavier (but that isn't hard, she weighs just over one hundred pounds soaking wet), but Nanao hasn't survived a hundred years as a Shinigami for nothing, and gives as good as she gets, redirecting and dodging them where she can, outright blocking them if she can't - all with a look of ferocious concentration on her face, because she still has to do this blind.}

{No matter how hard it tries, it simply cannot find an opening - the long, strong staff is always in the way. Had Nanao been using her customary wakizashi, there is no doubt that she wouldn't have been able to block two of the slashing attacks, let alone all of them. Frustrated, the Scyther leaps back, and raises both scythes above it's head - Nanao backpedals, sensing something is happening, but she isn't fast enough, and when it brings the scythes hurtling down, she's pulled forward by the irresistable force of Vacuum Wave, feet dragging, tripping over the ground, right into the reach of those deadly weapons.}

{She scrambles to try and get back up, but she only gets as far as one knee before one scythe rakes upward across her stomach, and crimson blood rolls out of the wound. She lets out a choked scream, and the second strike bisects the staff, sending part of it flying into the air as the scythes buries itself deep into her shoulder - }

{And then the piece of staff connects with the 'Gear, and transmission ceases}

//text, about five hours later

Can someone please come and pick me up from the Goldenrod Pokemon Centre? I can't get home by myself. {{ooc: You cannot help Nanao at the National Park! She's in the middle of the Bug Catching Competition, and wandered off into the forest. Hey. Seeing-Eye Riolu aren't always really reliable, don't blame Shinrai. She will, however be chilling in the foyer of the Goldenrod PKMN Centre, if you want face-to-face interactions. Other than that, video and text replies will come after he text is sent out!}}

- not this again! For god's sake, I've only just started to get things back to normal - what. {Yes, this is a very annoyed-looking Nanao staring straight at the 'Gear's camera.}

What is it, Kiyone. {This is a tone that tolerates no idle fools.} Alaaa. Alakazam. Kazam.

...fine. {The camera jerks, and follows Nanao into her bedroom. There's a bed, a chest of drawers, and a low cabinet, but that's about it. Clothes are scattered all over her bed, and she shoves them rather haphazardly into her pack, leaving her carefully folded kimono until last.}

So it seems that I obviously have not been punished enough for my crimes, and I have to leave town. Again. {The Riolu that's sprawled on her pillow squeaks as she picks him up and carefully puts him in the sling across her chest, and she picks up the pack from the bed.}

As a direct collorary, it would be very much appreciated if someone could watch my house for the three weeks that I'll be gone for. {Moving back into the kitchen, we see a rather large Charmeleon packing tins of food into another bag. There's also now a dining table, and three mismatched chairs, on top of which more supplies are all laid out.}

{She gestures to Kiyone to cut the video, but one final sentence sneaks in before the feed ends.} I am just so sick and tired of this.

( Cut for teal deers and (illegal) shenanigans )

//video, accidental.

{There's a jumble of sound and light, and the rather distinctive roar of the Kangaskhan Police.} Damnit, I didn't think they'd be here this fast!

{More dull thuds happen, and several shouted commands, before a huge billowing smoke cloud erupts from the upper right corner of the 'Gear, and slowly spreads across the screen.} Good boy, Renji! Let's go.

{The sound of the Kangaskhan Police soon fades, and then there's only the sound of running feet, and the feed times out to the view of a pair of trainer-clad feet, a tail tipped with flame, and the undulating frame of a Furret.}

//text, open.

I seem to be on the run from the law. How long before they stop looking for me?

{Nanao has rather obviously broken the law, and is running south to Ilex Forest to avoid the long paw of the Kangaskhan Police. Feel free to tag all over this - if they saw her running through Goldenrod, running towards Ilex, were at the Pokemon Centre etc. Also mod-approved!}

{It's early evening, and at Ise's house, they're eating dinner. On the floor, because Nanao has no furniture yet. On the plus side, from what can be seen of the house, it seems that renovations have finally been completed, as the walls have been repainted, and the bare wooden boards have been scoured clean. Nanao (who is dressed in her nurse's outfit) waves briefly at the camera, before going back to her soup.}

Hello, Johto. It's been a while, and, as you can see, I've finally finished overhauling the house. It was a long job, but I'm glad I finished before summer hit, if what you all told me about the seasons was accurate. {She gestures to something with the spoon, and the camera swivels around to find an egg in what looks to be a cradle with eyes, with a grumpy-looking Charmeleon sitting beside it, warming the egg with it's tail flame.}

And I have acquired yet another egg. Hopefully this will be the last one for a while, as I really need to start focusing on raising them all. You, ah, may have seen me wandering about, looking pregnant - that was because I was carrying this egg around. {She frowns, briefly, before going back to the soup.} Does anyone else have an egg from Easter that hasn't hatched yet? It's been nearly two weeks, and I'm a little concerned about the Pokemon inside.

I'm taking it in with me to work this evening, but I'm not - wait. {That may have been something like a crack. Everyone moves in, and the cradle transforms back into a Ditto, and it stares curiously at the egg. There's silence for a little while, but the egg has fallen silent again.} That's the fifth or sixth time that it's done that, and I don't know why.

{She reaches out a hand, and gently lays it on the egg, and the shell seems to crumble beneath her touch, and suddenly, in a wash of amniotic fluid, the tiny and far too still form of a Riolu appears.} No...

{The camera blurs, and for a few minutes, only garbled pictures and sound comes through - running feet, the calls of Pokemon, the sudden shift from light to dark to almost-strobing light, and the change in the BGM to the rather familiar tune of the Pokemon Center. When it stabilises, Nanao is slumped on a chair in the staff break room, head in hands.}

I should have known something was wrong - why am I even allowed to do this? He could be dead, and it would be fault..!

{The camera switches off, but not before it catches the sight of Casanova the Ditto transforming into something that looks distinctly human.}

{ooc: She's in the Goldenrod PKMN Center - feel free to run into her, because she really, really needs a hug now.}

//audio; unfiltered

Oh my dear Lord - Casanova, what did you do?! There are - oh, no. See? This is why I shouldn't have...

//video

{The feed clicks on to Nanao standing in her room in the Pokemon Centre. Surrounded by eggs. Eggs of every colour, shape and size.

... There's a rather guilty looking Ditto just in frame.}

As you can see, my newly acquired Ditto went to work more quickly than I expected. I have quite a number of eggs here, and I am willing to trade them for other pokemon eggs, or items of similar value.

Dear me, how did you even - Doesn't matter.

There are Abra, Skarmory, Lunatone, Poliwhirl, and Psyduck eggs - and I know the Abra eggs will have Thunderpunch when they hatch, if that is a help to you.

And you, Casanova, are never to do anything like that ever again!

{{OOC: EGGS, EGGS EVERYWHERE. Some have been claimed by the trading post, but feel free to ask! There are THREE Abra eggs, TWO Skarmory, TWO Lunatone, TWO Poliwhirl, and ONE Psyduck egg. PLEASE, SHE DOESN'T REALLY WANT ALL OF THESE.}}

"No, no, don't you dare do this, don't you dare!"